A secret Government video was taken from area 52. Area-52 is right between Area-51 and 53, by the old hickory tree and the cow in the pasture. It's home of the most notorious government Alien laboratory.
If you've ever been curious about life on Mars, OR if you have ever found yourself walking around in a daze after eating too much chocolate fudge...
Then it's very likely that you are sensitive to Martian DNA, and you should take action.
Start by getting Martian Poop. It's a real thing that all Humans should partake in; you can smell it, stretch it and squash it -- PLUS, it's a great anti-stress tool. We think that makes it very HEALTHY!
Martian Poop is NONTOXIC -- so a zany person might even eat it, but we wouldn't recommend it because we have not yet cleared it with Martha Stewart. WATCH THE VIDEO & THEN CLICK TO ACT NOW!
This video is a unique depiction of what happens when a Human is taken over by an Alien presence. Aubrey Plaza is obviously part Martian and her performances on TV shows like "Parks and Recreation" simply are a mask for her Alien DNA, and a "stroke" of genius. Watch, or simply click here to act now!
While going through satellite images of Mars, NASACK spotted a mountain that looked like a Face. NASACK believes that the Martian culture that created this is the same that attacked us in the movie, Mars Attacks! CLICK NOW! Or risk being zapped with a raygun by these mean Aliens.
Ancient Astronaut Theorists believe extraterrestrials seeded earth. And it's recently been proven that the Earth was actually populated by Blue Martian Blobs. Their chemical remains actually mixed with cells on Earth millions of years ago. Aliens POOPED it out, and it's in our soil! Protect your DNA with MARTIAN POOP!
The Government has strict orders for what can be shipped during the Covid19 lockdown. Stuff like this (Alien specimens) are usually limited to being mailed to Government officials who demonstrate that they require Brainal-Expansion.
But because you're special, we'll put you on the list of those who deserve our super healthy-ish Brainal-Expanding product.
This discovery is the most important thing since Sliced-Bread!
DON'T BE SHY -- USE THE ONLINE FORM TO GET ON THE PRE-ORDER LIST!
TM (R) Patent Pending (c) 2020.
This video is a unique depiction of the Great Martian War. It spectacularly re-imagines what could happen, with humankind fighting a catastrophic war against a savage race of extraterrestrial invaders. Watch it, or simply click here to act now!
If Doctor Demento and Weird Al Yankovic had given birth to a Martian Son, then his name would have been Cub Koda. And he would have rocked our world with a band called Brownville Station...To the tune of The Martian Boogie.